Shout out to two awesome female celebs

I'd like to give a shout out to two celebrity women- both actresses, and both pretty damn cool.

Reese Witherspoon:
Awesome for 2 reasons.

First, she isn't superficial and obsessed with her physical appearance. She is the mother of two children, and her body reflects this. Unlike many female celebrities, she doesn't go to extreme measures to try to make her body look like it did before having children. Instead, she is fine with the way her body looks post-pregnancy.

“I am covered in stretch marks and cellulite but it doesn’t bother me at all. My body will never be the same again but I really don’t care.”

"Your body never looks that same after you have children. My breasts are not what they were before I breast-fed. I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I know if I’m going to make it in this business, I’m not going to make it on being sexy."

"Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it's like running a race toward nothing. There's no winning. You're never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be."

"I feel like there's a race being run in Los Angeles for some unattainable goal -to be the best, the skinniest, the most beautiful. I just admit that that's what I'll never be."

Second, she believes in women's capabilities and feminism.

"I feel there are certain people who are systematically ripping [feminism] down because of their lack of regard and their ignorance about what the women before us had to go through."

"What gets me is how many women - young women - give up their power and their sense of self. Thinking they're going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they're smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I'm flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind."

"I don't think these women are stupid. I think they're selling a personality that's very marketable: Wouldn't it be fun if we were all gorgeous and didn't have a care? But creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, "I'm stupid, isn't it cute?" makes me want to throw daggers at them! I want to say to them, "My grandma did not fight for what she fought for, and my mother did not fight for what she fought for, so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid. Saying that to young women, little girls, my daughter? It's not OK."

Nicole Kidman:

She is a goodwill ambassador for United Nations Development Fund for Women, which would hold the entire league of nations in the UN responsible for making sure women in countries plagued with antiquated gender policies are educated and have access to proper health care.

She fights for international gender equality, with an emphasis on violence against women.

"Violence against women is not prosecuted because it is not a top government and urgent social priority. We can change this."

“These champions need and deserve our support. Not with a box of band-aids, but with a comprehensive, well-funded approach that acknowledges that women’s rights are human rights. It is time for policies that intentionally involve society’s key communities - from health and education departments to the police and judiciary - to deliver on that commitment. To succeed, it requires political will at the highest levels.”

She recently requested $1 billion over five years for anti-violence programs.

She also sees the realities of how Hollywood represents women poorly. She admits that the film industry contributes to violence by portraying women as sex objects. And she said she refuses to take film roles that portray women as weak sex objects.

"I can't be responsible for all of Hollywood, but I can certainly be responsible for my own career."

Why working at Hooters is NOT cool

Many young women would love the opportunity to work at Hooters. Whether it's for attention and the honor to be able to say you are "hot" to men, or simply for the money, there are plenty of women out there who would jump at the chance.

Well, it's obviously not cool for women to do it just to get an official stamp of approval of attractiveness. If they think that working there proves how "hot" they are, and they like men drooling over them, I would say they lack some serious self-esteem and should value themselves for more than how men view them.

But for those women who argue that they are not demeaning themselves by working there, I certainly see the validity in their argument. They claim that men are the real chumps- willing to generously tip women for wearing tight, low-cut outfits and serve them food. The women don't have to touch these men, or do anything sexual with them. They merely have to flirt with them, be nice, and prance around. And men are so stupid they are willing to pay for it. So why not profit from men's obsession with gawking at women?

Here's why: You are supporting the patriarchal standard of women being products that can be purchased for male amusement. You are supporting the misogynistic idea that women's bodies are objects for men to stare at. By accepting money in exchange for wearing small, tight outfits, you are saying to men that you can be purchased for their entertainment, for the right price. If men can pony up enough money, you are willing to be sexy for them. All it takes is cash. You can be bought. You are a product, not a person. (And yes, most everybody has to work for a paycheck, but most everybody does not have demote themselves to a sex object in order to earn money. Most people can do work where they are seen as people, rather than a thing.)

Who is really in control? Certainly not the women who are making the money. Yes, it seems quite powerful to be able to take a man's money. Making a lot of money gives women the idea that they are the one in power. But oh, how specious that argument is. I'd say the one in power is the one who can wave some money around and have people sell themselves for it. When all a man needs is money to be able to control people, and tell them what they need to do to earn it, and dole out the cash to those who are willing to look "sexy" for them, it's like he's the puppet master. I certainly wouldn't say a well-paid slave is really the one in charge. It's his owner- the one that calls the shots and decides what that person will have to do to earn the pay.

Sexified women are a hot commodity, because men are willing to pay for it. They eat at places like Hooters, or get their hair cut at places like Tight Cuts, or get their house cleaned by topless women, or watch a female football game with the players in lingerie, or get coffee from bikini baristas, or go to strip clubs, or use prostitutes. Women have become quite the sellable product. Just sex them up and they are all ready to be sold to men for their own personal pleasure. These men are NOT going to Hooters or bikini baristas because they like your wit and conversation, or because they value you as a person, or because they appreciate or respect you in any way, or think you are talented and have something to offer; they are doing these things because they like to look at you and think about having sex with you. They look at you as a sex toy, and nothing more.

I'm not saying these men are inherently evil, or even have bad intentions or are intentionally disrespecting women. It's what they have learned to be normal. It's what we have all learned to be normal. Women are sex toys for men. We grow up with places like Hooters and strip clubs, and see that men like sexed up women to gawk at. And we don't know any different. It's the status quo.

But there comes a time when every societal standard needs to be questioned. It was appropriate to question the normalcy of slavery and it was appropriate to question laws that didn't allow women and African-Americans to vote. Yes, those things were normal at the time, but were still wrong. And this is wrong. Women are not sex toys for men. Period. No matter how normal it is to us, it's just not right. Women should not be looked at as sexual objects, or a things for men to play with or as products that can be bought and sold for male amusement. Women are people, and have a greater purpose than to fulfill a man's sexual desires.

So not only is working at Hooters, or a similar place, demeaning, but it also reinforces harmful standards of beauty. Women are bombarded with images of what they need to look like to be sexy and desirable to men. And since the desire to be desired is something women are taught is important, we strive to fit the sexy mold. Hooters, Playboy, Victoria's Secret models...they all show us that skinny with big boobs is the ideal. Now women are getting plastic surgery and developing eating disorders to fit this image. And I am so sick of hearing, "Men get plastic surgery and have eating disorders too. Men are pressured to look good for women." While there are men who do get plastic surgery, and do have eating disorders, it is a very, very small population, and not even close to comparable to women. Eleven out of 12 million Americans that get cosmetic surgery are women. That's 92%. And as for eating disorders, 8 million Americans suffer from the disease, and 7 million of those are women. That's 87.5% female.

As women, it's important that we accept other women for who they are and what they look like. We shouldn't be striving to look like unrealistic images, or using our bodies as examples of what other women should strive to look like. We shouldn't be encouraging women to throw up their food or get surgery to transform themselves. Instead, we should respect our gender and treat other women like they are valuable, no matter how they were born or what they look like.

With any oppressed group, it's important for members to band together and fight the status quo and demand respect. And yes, women are an oppressed group. We always have been. We may have made strides by being able to vote, work and own property, but we still have a long way to go. We still get paid less for doing the same job, we still have millions of girls and women enslaved around the world in brothels, we are still being raped and beaten by men, and we are still being seen as sex objects. To overcome this oppression, there needs to be a strong sisterhood, where women refuse to be seen as less than men, and refuse to be seen as products to be bought.

This is easier said than done however. It is common for any oppressed group to internalize blame and perpetuate their own oppression. Feminists have called this "Tomming" and it references the classic book Uncle Tom's Cabin, where a black slave, Tom, feels as though he really isn't as good as his white owner, and so he becomes very devoted and subservient to his white master who he genuinely believes to be superior. Women really do think they are sex toys, and create any justification to continue living in the comfortable world of the status quo. They say, "women are just more attractive than men, so men want to look at us" or "men are appreciating female bodies." This is all just crap. Women are people and shouldn't be seen or treated as anything less.

By not working at Hooters, or the like, you are sending a message: 'women are not sexual products to be purchased by men.' And you are also saying: 'women don't have to look a certain way to be beautiful. I accept all kinds of women, and I don't think my body should be considered the ideal. I don't want women to make themselves sick to try to look like me.' And you are saying: 'I'm taking a stand against rape culture. I will not be seen as a sexual object, and I am not going to participate in the normalization of having women been seen as things rather than people.' You are joining a much needed sisterhood. We cannot overcome our oppression or make change without the help of women. Most men like having the power, so we must depend on our sisterhood to demand equality.

Why I don't wear makeup

Up until about 4 months ago, I used to wear makeup every day. Granted, sometimes I would only wear mascara, but still, I NEEDED it. I was hooked to makeup like it was crack. I wouldn't go anywhere without it- not even the gym. I really just didn't like what I looked like without it. I felt ugly a lot of the time. And even with makeup, I had self esteem issues.

And then one day I had a revelation. WHO CARES?!? I mean, why was my appearance so important to me? Why did I care so much if other people thought I was attractive? Why was it so important to me that I feel attractive? And to get to the root of the problem, why did I only feel confident about my looks with artificial colors and chemicals painted all over my face? Are my natural looks really so bad?

So I didn't wear any makeup that day. And I didn't wear any makeup the next day. Or the day after. And you know what? It felt pretty good. Not only was I saving valuable time and money, but I felt better about myself. My confidence really began to skyrocket because I wasn't basing my own worth off of my physical appearance. I had always known I had much more to offer than my looks, but if wasn't until I honestly stopped caring, that I truly believed it.

There was such a sense of empowerment when I just stopped caring what other people thought about my looks. I could honestly care less if someone thought I was ugly, or someone thought I was attractive. Physically appearance doesn't mean anything. It doesn't measure someone's worth and is in no way indicative of what they have to offer. It's superficial and vain, and I really didn't want to be a part of that world anymore. And I stopped participating in that caddy life of judging other women by their looks.

With every day that went by, I felt better and better about myself. And I really started thinking about makeup in general, and why I originally wore it, and why most women do wear it. I mean, it's expensive, it's time consuming, and it's bad for your skin. But...It makes us look "better", so that's a good enough reason. For women, looking good seems to outweigh most everything.

From birth, girls are taught to want to be beautiful like a princess. Society places a VERY strong emphasis on a woman's appearance. From her weight, to her clothes, to her hair, to her face, to her body. If you walk through Target, you'll see rows and rows and rows of makeup, made exclusively for women. You'll also see rows of facials cleansers and age defying lotions, made exclusively for women. These products are supposed to improve appearance, but only for women.

Diets and weight loss programs are designed for women. A small percentage are designed for men, and they are always noted as a "men's program." The majority of weight loss programs are designed for women. (Think Jenny Craig & Weight Watchers)

Cosmetic surgery has been booming. In 2008, there were 12.1 million cosmetic procedures performed in the United States. And guess what? 91% of of those cosmetic procedures were for women! That's horrible. Over 12 million Americans felt they needed a cosmetic procedure to look better, and 11 million of those were females. (http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/stats/2008-quick-facts-cosmetic-surgery-minimally-invasive-statistics.pdf)

The pressure for women to be thin is worse than ever. It is estimated that 8 million Americans have eating disorders. And 7 million of those are women. 1 in 200 American women suffers from anorexia, and 2-3 in 100 American women suffers from bulimia. (http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/statistics.htm)

I remember reading recently that women spend over $400,000 on beauty products in their lifetime. A teen girls spend an average of $200 a month of beauty products. Sheesh. It sure seems that women will sacrifice everything in the name of beauty. She will spend time every morning putting on makeup, she will spend money buying it, she will spend thousands of dollars in one lump sum on cosmetic procedures and endure the pain and health risks of going under the knife and getting a completely unnecessary surgery. She will slowly kill herself with eating disorders, just so she can be the size she thinks she is supposed to be.

I have to say, I don't like these societal beauty standards at all. Women are real people, with real feelings and real talent and real experiences. Women have amazing things to offer and contribute to this world. We're not just pretty faces. We're not just sexual fantasies and play things for male amusement. We don't deserve the pressures of feeling obligated to look great. Men certainly don't have those same pressures. Men can be accepted for who they are and what they look like without having to put on makeup, go on disgusting diets, get needles poked in their faces to get rid of wrinkles, get plastic surgery or throw up after every meal. Why can't women be afforded this same right? Why can't women simply be? Why can't women just be comfortable with what they were born to look like, and say FU to anybody who doesn't like it?

I have not worn any makeup for over 4 months, and I do not intend to wear makeup ever again. I think I look great without it. I gained real confidence through accepting myself for who I actually am, and I have never felt so good about my looks in my life. I don't waste my time or money on that crap anymore. I mean, what is so wrong with what women actually look like? Nothing! But patriarchy still lives on, and society still makes women feel like they NEED to look great, and go to artificial means to achieve this. It is very profitable for cosmetic industries to tear down women's self esteem, and then sell them products that will make them feel good again.

But I think it takes a real sense of security to be able to walk out of the house everyday with your natural face and like the way you look, and not care about pleasing other people, especially men. And it's definitely empowering to rebel against the status quo and sexist beauty standards.

That is why I don't wear makeup.

Feminist books for young readers!

I am always excited to learn about new things that help empower women and girls. Check this out:

The Amelia Bloomer Project produces an annual list of books for young readers, ages birth through 18, that contain significant feminist content-not just cardboard “feisty” or “spunky” girls and women, but tales of those who have broken barriers and have fought to change their situations and their environment.

Examples of books include:

Violet the Pilot- Rejected by classmates for her love of science and mechanics, Violet’s wild invention saves the day when others need her help.

Running Shoes- With her new shoes, Sophy runs through the rice fields of Cambodia to the local school, where, as the only girl, she strives to achieve her dream of an education.

Ballots for Belva: the True Story of a Woman’s Race for the Presidency- During the late 1800’s when only men could vote, Belva Lockwood earned a law degree, successfully argued cases before the Supreme Court, and ran for the office of President of the United States.

For a complete list of books, and more about the project, check out:

http://libr.org/ftf/bloomer.html

Media, sexism, and politics- MUST SEE video

This is a fantastic video about sexism in the media regarding politics. I thought I would share it.

Halloween: A time to emphasize a woman's place in society

For as long as I can remember, Halloween has always been a time for women to dress as scantily as possible without being labeled. Or basically, a chance for women to try to get as much attention from men as possible without being called a "slut". Attention from men is what women are supposed to strive for. Approval from men/ looking good for men, is what women are conditioned to contend for from birth. (I.e., make up, breast implants, Botox, weight watchers, liposuction, tanning, fake nails, eating disorders, face lifts, breast lifts, hair extensions, lip injections, facials, tummy tucks, age defying lotion, push up bras, etc.)

These generic, barely there costumes are unoriginal and not meant to be creative and unique. They are meant to put a woman's body on display. And not just a display for men, but for other women too. It's important to show other women what you bring to the table, how you compare to them, how you look "better" and "sexier" than them, and that you are more desirable than they are. You want other women to look at you and be jealous, because women are taught to compete with each other for male approval. In a patriarchal society, getting ahead means pleasing the group in charge, or pleasing men. And women go to great lengths and spend a lot of time and money on their appearance. It's not because we "want" to, it's because we don't know any different because we were seasoned to act like this from the day we were born. We don't know any different. We don't question it because it's a societal norm. When women couldn't vote, that was considered normal and correct. When blacks were enslaved, that was also normal. This is no different. Women are supposed to be young, thin and beautiful. So when Halloween rolls around, it's yet another opportunity to showcase how attractive we are, and to gain that coveted male approval. We dress ourselves up as sex toys for men, and it's totally conventional.

OK, so tight and little costumes are nothing new. Halloween has always been a time to emphasize a woman's place in society- to be a man's sex toy. And this year the emphasis is getting stronger with....a baby pimp costume.

Hmm. A pimp "finds and manages women (often very young women) who are vulnerable and susceptible, for what ever reason, to extreme manipulation and engages them in prostitution (in brothels and on the streets) in order to profit from their earnings. Typically, a pimp will not force prostitutes to "be with him", although some have been known to be abusive in order to keep their prostitutes submissive or to maximize profits. A pimp may also offer to protect his prostitutes from rival pimps and prostitutes, or from abusive clients. They can also enable a prostitute to work in a particular area under his control. Pimping is illegal in most countries." (Thanks, Wikipedia)

The usual scenario:
Pimps find very young, vulnerable girls, often victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence, and offer them companionship, love, and a safe place to go. Once the girl feels safe and wanted with her new "boyfriend," he manipulates her into sleeping with a man for money. He tells her they need the money, and after everything he's done for her she owes him, etc., etc. Soon, the prostitution becomes a regular thing. And it's not like the girl can just walk out and leave. She is now under the pimps control, both physically and emotionally. The pimp beats down her self-esteem so she honestly thinks she's nothing more than a disposable sex object. And the pimp physically beats her, as well as threatens her if she tries to escape. He threatens to come after her and hurt her and/or her family if she runs away. He tells her she will just get thrown in jail because prostitution is illegal. He gets her hooked on drugs so she needs him and can't leave. She is stuck in a life of prostitution, with no feasible way out. And this man who forces her to sleep with numerous strange men per day takes every last penny of what she earns. He provides her with an acceptable wardrobe, enough food to live on, and usually drugs. The pimp sends her out with a quota, and if she doesn't return to him with the right amount of money, she will be beaten, and she will learn her lesson, and she will "work" harder next time.

Yup, that's a pimp. Don't you want your little guy dressing up as one for Halloween?

Item Description-
Our Baby Pimp Costume is too cute for words. This super fly baby pimp suit is great for babies first Halloween photos. For a fun family costume idea consider any of our Pimp outfits for any age.

Nothing spells family fun like beating women and forcing them to sleep with 10 men a day! Gag me.

Most degrading commercial...

Men have sent a clear message with this one- the perfect girlfriend is a beautiful airhead who acts likes a doormat and likes a fat, hairy guy. She keeps up her appearance, but doesn't care how ugly he is. She lets him do "whatever he wants." Basically, the perfect girlfriend is an attractive woman whose only purpose is to please her man, keep him happy, obey him, and accept everything he does, no matter how disgusting or degrading.

Peter Travers: 'Rolling Stone' movie critic and supreme sexist asshole

I like romantic movies so I was pretty excited to see "The Time Traveler's Wife." I read some pretty bad reviews, so I wasn't expecting much. That said, I did see the movie and I didn't really like it. I won't bother watching it again, even if it's on TV for free.

Anyway, one of the reviews I read was written by Peter Travers, from Rolling Stone magazine. His review is offensive and annoying throughout. He begins by claiming "the movie is Kryptonite for guys" because it's a love story. So, a love story is lethal for men? Oh yeah... only women can be emotional about love and relationships. Men are hard and tough. They can't like that girly crap. That would make them a gay pussy wimp. Men can't watch movies about feelings, it will kill them.

Next, he writes, "And after each trip he [Henry, the time traveler] ends up freezing his cojones in some alley but always gym-toned naked. The porn industry might have treated this premise with more blunt honesty." I'm currently rolling my eyes. One of the rare times a semi-nude, good looking man gets thrown in a movie, it's resented. And the semi-nude scenes (where no goods were even shown) served a purpose in a movie. Only he time travels, not his clothes. That makes sense. (And it was mentioned that the character had to stay in shape to outrun the law and fight for survival.) Excuse Eric Bana for being in shape. Perhaps they should have cast a fat guy to play the role, just so men wouldn't be threatened. It wouldn't have made sense for the movie, but it would have made out of shape men more comfortable I guess.

Also, only male nudity bothers him. I didn't see one single complaint about the Rachael McAdams naked butt scene. Or, what about every single, unrealistic, topless sex kitten thrown into almost every mainstream movie? That doesn't seem to bother him. Gym-toned naked women are ok, even if the nudity serves no purpose in the movie, other than for guys to get off.

But, here's the real kicker. He actually wrote:

"When Clare and Henry marry she makes a pretty fuss about how he keeps missing birthdays and holidays and how she cooked such a nice dinner and all. Sheesh, do men really need to pay for a movie about guilt trips they can get for free at home? For the same effect, dive nude into a tub of molten marshmallow."

This REALLY pisses me off for a few reasons. One being that he plays on the "nagging wife" stereotype. Men get bitched at at home from their bitchy wives. Women are just nagging bitches. It never seizes to amaze me how routine it is for people to belittle and demean an entire gender. Here is Peter Travers, a white male, perpetuating stereotypes to keep the oppressed down. Men just keep taunting the female gender with labels like this. Claiming we have hormonal problems and laughing about "that time of the month." Well, smart asses, a woman's hormones right before and during her menstrual cycle are at that time the most like a man's hormones. So the way that women act during "that time of the month" is how men always act. These "nagging wife" labels are just another way to make women seem more annoying then men, less rational then men, more emotional then men, etc. So basically, just another way to make women seem inferior to men. And the worst part is, oppressed groups often internalize blame and believe such lies. It's so screwed up.

A smaller annoyance is just the assumption that the man is paying for his movie ticket. I happen to know a lot of dead beats out their who mooch off of women. Movie tickets included. And I know a lot of couples and friends that go Dutch. Or women that take men out on dates. We're not in the '50s, and it shouldn't be assumed that men pay for everything. Asshole.

Lastly, Travers dares to call this a "movie about guilt trips." Out of the entire 1 hour 48 minutes, there is approximately 1-2 minutes of the woman giving the man a 'guilt trip' about missing holidays and dinners. And it's called venting. It's a normal, human process. The woman is rightfully hurt and upset, and vents for 1-2 minutes total. Now suddenly that's what the movie is about? Forget the idea of love or time travel. It's about guilt trips and nagging bitches. Those 2 minutes of dialogue really transformed the entire movie into a bitchfest.

Oh yeah, and I am annoyed that he uses the term "pretty fuss" to describe the woman's 'guilt trip.' What is a "pretty fuss" anyway? Sounds like a way to belittle a woman's rightful emotions and justify ignoring a woman's feelings. The dainty little damsel was making a pretty fuss. She was whining like a little girl and throwing a tantrum. It's just become so commonplace to shrug off a woman's feelings and pretend she doesn't have anything legitimate to say or think or feel, just because she's a woman.

Here's the full review (warning, the entire thing is crap):

http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/18264780/review/29647925/the_time_travelers_wife

What would a matriarchal society look like?

What if we lived in an opposite society, where everything was backwards and matriarchy ruled? Gender roles would be switched, and women would have the upper hand...

First, men would labor endlessly to look good for women. Their devotion to physical attractiveness would know no ends. Men would work out incessantly so their bodies would be tight and toned. They would spend hundreds of dollars a month on beauty supplies that keep them looking gorgeous and young. Then they would wake up early every morning to apply their beauty products to impress women, and of course, other men. They would spend a few hundred dollars getting their hair cut and colored every 6 weeks also. No amount of time or money spent on beauty would be considered too much.

And on the flip side, women would roll out of bed, take a shower, and be ready to go in about 10 minutes total time. And this would be normal. Nobody would think we looked like slobs, because showering would be the only real prerequisite for looking good. Granted, we would have to throw some clothes on, but that would be the extent of our "getting ready."

Then us women would go to our high paying jobs, where men worked below us, or beside us but for less money. We would demean these men by calling them "sweetie" or "honey" in the workplace. But of course, we would respect our fellow female workers, whom we would refer to by their names. We would also watch these men compete with one another in a caddy way. They would be conditioned to battle for female approval. Men would talk bad about each other and belittle one another about things such as weight and attractiveness. "He's gotten so fat." "Did you see him without any make up on? So gross!" "He really needs to whiten his teeth."

We would come home from work and watch our husbands clean the house, make dinner, and take care of the children. We would likely retreat to our "woman cave" or "woman den," which would be a designated area of the house that excluded men. This is where we would go to relax with our friends, and talk about men as if they are objects instead of people.

We women would be in our "woman cave" and watch general comedies. Or any movie for that matter. Because most movies would have very attractive men, with very little clothing. We would see huge, erect penises all the time, and for no reason. It wouldn't be to further a movie plot, but just thrown in there to sexually amuse women. No matter what movie we decided on, you could bet there would be some great eye candy. But that would make sense, because that would be a man's purpose- to look good for us and be our own personal sex toys.

As women, we'd go out with our female friends to speedo contests or wet brief contests. We'd see men walking around a stage in small amounts of clothing, showing us why they deserve our attention. Most of these men would have had "male enhancement" surgery too. Because natural penis size is not good enough. We would want our men unnaturally super sized. Enduring surgery and paying thousands of dollars for physical beauty isn't asking too much. Men would like doing it, right? It would give them the confidence to compete in those wet brief contests, where we would hose down men and judge them on who had the bigger package.

The world would even watch men compete in beauty pagents. We would toss some college money their way, but they would have to look good to earn it. I can see it now- men parading around a stage in barely anything, so we could judge their bodies on a scale of 1-10. We'd also judge them on how handsome they looked in a tux, and maybe a few other things so the contest wouldn't be completely demeaning. But remember, no unattractive man could compete in the first place, and in the end, it's all about looks. That's who deserves scholarship money- the best looking man. A man's most valuable assett is his looks, and we musn't forget it.

I might even drive through a coffee stand, where I am served my espresso by a young man in speedos. And I will go get some chicken wings served to me by men with their penises hanging out of their underwear. And I'd go get my haircut at a place where men wear super sexy outfits to sexually arouse me. I might even get my house cleaned by bottomless male house cleaners. The bigger the penis, the bigger the tip. Ahh...how great to have men going to any possible length to please women. Society has taught them their role, and they obey it. No questions asked.

Women would be expected to sleep with many men. That's what men would be there for- our sexual pleasure and not much else. Men, on the other hand, would be ridiculed and ostracized by society for sleeping with too many women. These men would have horrible reputations, have lies spread about them, and be an outcast. They would endure the pressure to be sexy, but not actually be sexual.

Now, as women, we might even want to tap into the prostitution market. Why not pay for sex? Again, that's what men would be there for- our sexual pleasure. This way we could just use a man very quickly for our sexual gratification, and be done with him. Boys, of course, would be very high in demand. A woman would have to pay top dollar for a 12 year old. Would it bother us that most of these boys and men are sex slaves? No. Would it bother us that women found vulnerable young boys, told them they were our boyfriends, and then days later, forced them into prostitution? Would we care that these boys and men are being held against their will, beaten, and forced to have sex with us? Not really. We don't want to know any of the sticky details, like sexual slavery, drug addiction, and prior childhood sexual abuse. We just want to get laid.

In fact, brothels around the world would serve women. We would have boys and men standing behind glass windows, as we looked and picked which one we wanted to rape. After all, they would just be males. An inferior gender. Good for nothing but sex.

Politics would be reserved for women. If a man tried to run for office, ha! We would all scoff and laugh about how he's not equipped for politics because he is a man. Men are just too aggressive and violent by nature to be in control of anything. They don't deserve representation. So when they do run, we will judge them on their looks and wardrobe instead of their qualifications. No one will take a male candidate seriously. I mean, he'd be a man. He should be focused on his family life and clothing. He wouldn't have time to be in charge. And if was a strong, outspoken man...watch out. He would be the asshole of the century. We'd expect our men to be soft spoken and demure. Anything else would be too much like a woman. And we like our gender roles. Men are pansies and women are strong and in charge. Nothing else would make sense.

To top things off, we would give men self-esteem issues from as early an age as possible. He would see nothing on TV but thin, buff men. Anorexia and steroid abuse would be sky high for young boys. Every media outlet would be shoving beauty images down their throat, which would serve as training manuals for how men should look. Weight watchers would be targeted at men only, because being "hot" after 40 would be a man's main priority. Lookin' good-what else would there be? Add Botox, tummy tucks, liposuction and various implants in there too. Men will need those tools to keep up their image.

This could go on and on, but it isn't necessary. This matriarchal world is fucked up. It's degrading and dehumanizing to an entire gender. This pretend world is just like the world we live in now, except women are the ones being dehumanized.

Women aren't allowed to age!

How many anti-aging cream commericals have you seen lately? And how many advertisements have you seen while flipping through "women's" magazines? Or just what about walking through the lotion/ face-wash section at the store?

Anti-aging products are everywhere, but, they are only meant for women. When is the last time you saw an anti-aging skin cream commercial or ad with a man in it? I never have.

Meaningful Beauty is a higher end product that was originally created to keep Cindy Crawford from aging. Then Crawford convinced the doctor who made it to bottle it up in bulk and sell it to all women who don't want to look older. (I've seen this infomerical too many times.) Then male Dr. Jean Louis Sebagh comes on and plugs his product. But wait- he has wrinkles! What? Apparently, he doesn't feel it necessary to use his own product, because men can age. It's OK. His product is for women.

Here's a big middle finger to Dr. Jean Louis Sebagh, who prays on female insecurity that's been developed through sexist beauty standards. Men can just be, but women have to go to endless lengths to remain youthful and attractive. F off.

Group Health Cooperative has sexist ads

Every time I am driving in the car I hear a Group Health radio commercial. The first one I heard was offensive. Then the next one I heard was offensive. And then I heard a third one that was offensive.

The first one I heard was about a guy with amnesia. He didn't remember anything, but his Group Health nurse was able to access all of his files to tell him his name, what he is allergic to, etc. Then the man said, "I don't even remember by wife's name...oh man, she is going to kill me!" Then the nurse says that his files say he is single, and points out that he isn't wearing a wedding ring. Well, this is the greatest news of his life, as he screams with pure joy, "I'm free! I'm free!" Because of course a man is a prisoner in marriage. He is a slave once he says '"I do." Poor men. Women are such a drag to be with.

The second one I heard was about a girlfriend suspecting her boyfriend of cheating. Being the stereotypical snoop, she was searching through his phone for some kind of evidence. She questioned him about every female number that was in his phone. "Who is this...who is this...?" she kept nagging. And he had legitimate excuses for all of the numbers. One was a personal trainer for instance. And one of the late night phone calls was to Group Health, not another woman. The commercial ended with her asking about one last number, to which he nervously responded, "give me the phone." So either he was actually hiding something from her, or he was just annoyed with her questioning. However you want to look at it, the woman is the antagonist. She is paranoid, obsessive and annoying. She is the stereotypical girlfriend, and the stereotypical woman for that matter. All women are nags, and this nagging is sooooo obnoxious for men to put up with. Even if there is a legitimate reason for questioning, it's still sooooo obnoxious. Again, poor men. How do they put up with us? We are just so uptight and annoying.

The third one was about a man (of course, that's who they portray as their customers) who is talking to his doctor about some medical problems he is having. The symptoms are bleeped out so that we don't hear what he has because it's probably too gross. Then the doctor said something or other about where he got such a medical problem, and I don't remember the exact wording, but it was insinuated that he got a nasty STD from overseas. Those damn Asain prostitutes. Those damn sex slaves...being forced to service 40 men a day. It's no wonder this nice man contracted something. Poor men.

I am sure that these commercials don't offend a lot of people that listen to the radio, because we are conditioned to accept woman bashing as the status quo. It's normal. We don't know any different. I mean, the ball and chain wife, the nagging girlfriend, the Asain prostitute. These are all things our society laughs about. Hahaha. It's so funny to belittle women.

Rape simulation computer game

I just heard about "RapeLay," a Japanese rape simulation PC game. Just the words "rape simulation" made me want to punch a hole through the wall, but then, I read the actual premise of the game. Now my blood is really boiling.

Basically, as the 'player,' you are a male rapist. You enjoy molesting pretty women on the subway, but one of the women turns you into the police. After spending some time in jail, you are out for revenge. Your goal is to rape her and her family.

You begin the game by following that woman on the subway. While on the train, you molest her against her will. Although she is fighting your advances, her arousal meter increases, as if she is actually enjoying the violation. After you both get off the train, you stalk her, and then rape her in a park. After raping her, you need to photograph her naked with semen all over her body. When you do this, you have advanced to the next level.

You have now been given the opportunity to rape her mother and little sister as well. The mother also gets molested on the subway. But now you get to rape her in a dirty bathroom. When you get to the younger sister, who is about 10-years-old, you get to rape her in her bed next to her teddy bears. The camera zooms in on her face, with her eyes swollen, as she can't stop crying.

And because two of the women are both virgins, you break their hymens and there is blood.

Once all three women have been raped, you are now allowed to rape whichever woman you want, wherever you want, and in several new positions. There are also several challenges to complete, such as making one of the women swallow semen three times. The more challenges you complete, the more the women will submit to the rape.

Now every time you ejaculate inside a woman, there is a chance she can get pregnant. If she does, you are then to force her to get an abortion. The longer the abortion takes, the bigger and bigger the baby will grow. And if the women ends up giving birth, she will push you in front of a train and your life is over. So it's important to force that abortion on her.

You also have the option of inviting your friends to join in on the raping.

WHAT THE HELL? This game made $100 million since 2007. Even worse, people defend this game. I have been reading comments that say things like, "I would rather have men play video games about rape than actually raping women," and "I'm not a fan of the game, but anything that makes the hate-group known as American Feminism (like Equality Now) upset makes me happy." One entire discussion board about the game was nothing more than feminist bashing.

How much more can we take as women? I say, enough is enough. When people find rape and violence against women an acceptable form of entertainment, that's where we have to take a stand. For people to support this game, and bash the women who oppose it, we know our society is in trouble. There is a game about violently raping women and girls, yet feminists are the evil ones? How did our culture get so far out of hand? How has rape become OK, and women's rights become the worst thing in the world.

If you don't call yourself a feminist yet, what are you waiting for? It's time to demand respect for ourselves and fight for equality. Women aren't rag dolls to be tossed around and raped and beaten. We need to send a clear message: we are united and we aren't going to put up with this shit.

Cosmo's rules for being a great girlfriend

Every woman knows, keeping your man happy is an important job, even if it means sacrificing your own needs to please him. We must bend over backwards for our boyfriends, so they will like us, be faithful, and if we are lucky, they will one day marry us.

To be a good girlfriend, we must shed our own personalities, and adapt to whatever our boyfriend wants us to be. But how do we do that? Well, it's easy. Just follow Cosmo's rules for being a "good girlfriend." These rules were advertised on MSN lifestyle, so that every woman who visits MSN can benefit from this advice.

Good Girlfriend Behavior: Do This, Not That
By Bethany Heitman

Every girl knows the golden relationship rules — like tell your guy how great he makes you feel, not how amazing your ex was. But there are other guidelines that aren't so obvious. Behold, the ultimate cheat sheet for being a great girlfriend.

Hanging with the Guys
Do This: Watch the game with his friends.Spending an afternoon on the couch with his pals says you're easygoing and cool … and he'll appreciate your making an effort to get to know his boys.
Do you like watching the game? No? Doesn't matter. He will like it, so that's what counts. But remember, never ask him to go shopping with you and your friends. You might appreciate it, but he will just be bored, and it's all about him.

Not That: Cheer really loudly, chug beers, or tell off-color jokes.Let's put it this way: It's really hard for him to be sexually attracted to someone who reminds him of his buddies.
Heaven forbid you act like this. This behavior is strictly reserved for males only! We must stay in our feminine gender roles! Ladies can't chug beer and tell jokes. Well, they can, but it's nasty. And no guy will be attracted to you. You must be a dainty little lady.

Giving Him Gifts
Do This: Buy him tickets.Present him with two tickets to see his favorite team or band and you'll win major points for being thoughtful and creative.
Win major points? Anything to win major points with my man. This will make him like me more, right?

Not That: Get him a sweater.He gets plenty of clothes from his mom. And you don't want him to associate you with her, do you? Didn't think so.
This is will not win you major points. Does it matter that it was something you picked out yourself, because you were being thoughtful and thought he might like it? Nah. Doesn't matter. He won't appreciate it. Let his mom be the one to disappoint him. He wants tickets. He won't be happy with any other gift. And yes, this applies to all men.

Leaving Stuff at His Place
Do This: "Forget" your necklace.Leave behind a pretty, delicate piece of jewelry (such as a little gold necklace) and he'll think of you in similar terms every time he sees it.
Of course! We want our man to think of us as delicate piece of jewelry. And we want him to remember we exist. He will forget all about us the second we leave, unless...we purposely leave our belongings over so he's forced to remember that we were there.

Not That: Leave a toothbrush in his bathroom.An unsolicited toothbrush or other toiletry will give him the impression you're moving too fast — and may freak him out.
Ugh- we wouldn't want our man to think we desired a commitment or anything. We move as slow as he wants. He doesn't want to even think about committing to just one woman. That freaks him out. We'll wait for him. As long as he needs.

Sending Him Texts
Do This: Type "Last night was amazing. Repeat 2night?"Keeping your message short and provocative will ensure he stays totally intrigued.
Keeping your messages air-headed and shallow will definitely allure to him. And don't forget the sexual innuendos. Without those, he won't be interested. He likes his text messages like he likes his women- dumb and slutty.

Not That: Send a message that's more than two sentences.To him, texting is for quick communication. Sending him a novel is analogous to a droning phone call.
That's right- he's not interested in what's on your mind. He doesn't really care what you have to say. He just wants the two-liner, mindless, provocative texts. Anything longer than two lines is a novel to him. And it reminds him of those droning phone calls you two have- the ones where you talk about your life, he pretends to listen, and he wants to shoot his brains out. You would never want to subject him to such torture, right?

Displaying PDA
Do This: Give him a quick kiss.He'll feel proud in front of his buddies if you give him a subtly sexy signal, like pecking him on the cheek or holding on to his arm as you walk.
We must boost his ego in front of his buddies. It's our job.

Not That: Be all over him.Dudes want to appear tough in public, so if you're always sitting on his lap or trying to make out with him, he'll feel uncomfortable.
We should never expect affection in public from our man. It's not manly. He wants to be the big, masculine boyfriend, and this means acting like he's not really into you while in public. But he really does care. Just not in front of other people.

Wearing Lingerie
Do This: Wear a matching lace bra and underwear.Sets that come in white or pastel colors — think lavender or light pink — give him a little peek at what's in store while you still look feminine and innocent.
Men who care nothing about receiving clothing as gifts sure care a lot about what color your lingerie is. He would likely be disappointed if he saw you wearing a black bra and panties. He has his heart set on pastel pink, because that makes you look virginal and innocent- the way a good woman should look. Never mind those provocative 2-liner texts you sent him earlier. He forgot all about how sexual you were as soon as he saw your pink bra. You have successfully transformed yourself into an innocent virgin- just what he likes.

Not That: Wear something he needs an engineering degree to get off of you.Teddies and little nighties with ties, buckles, and bows are hot, but he'll be too busy trying to figure out how to get you out of it to notice how amazing you look.
Don't ever make your man work for it. It's all about easy access. He needs to be able to take it off quickly. The sooner you are naked, the better. Lingerie with ties is so complex, you can't expect him to be smart enough to figure it out. He's doesn't have an engineering degree, after all!

Visiting His Parents
Do This: Bring them something homemade.Showing up with freshly baked oatmeal-raisin cookies shows you spent time thinking about them instead of just swinging by the store. Plus, his mom will be thrilled her son's babe can bake.
Impressing his mother is a must! And she wants him to be with a domestic babe! Prove you are domestic and win her over. If you don't bake, you better start learning.

Not That: Bestow flowers or anything pricey.Fresh-cut flowers require the hostess to duck into the kitchen to arrange them, and over-the-top gifts (such as a crazy-expensive bottle of wine or a crystal vase) are, well, over the top.
Remember, his mother is like him. He doesn't appreciate the thought behind the gift, he only appreciates the gift if it's something he wants. His mother doesn't want anything over the top, she just wants baked goods that prove you are domestic, so she can comfortably accept the relationship. She wouldn't feel right about her son being with someone who doesn't bake.

Going Away for the Weekend
Do This: Go to the beach or the mountains.In the beginning of a relationship, take an adventure-based trip, like going surfing or snowboarding. The adrenaline rush will boost your bond, and a built-in activity safeguards against awkward downtime.
Aah, this one isn't too bad.

Not That: Check in to a sleepy bed and breakfast.Staring at each other over fresh coffee and croissants and going antiquing all day may sound romantic to you, but these kinds of esoteric activities bore most men to death.
OK, this is more like it. Back to the basics. Do everything he wants to do. But you want to go antiquing all day? Too bad. He doesn't want to, and we do what he wants, remember? We watch football on the couch with his friends, because that will please him. But don't expect him to do something you like. That's just rude and unladylike.

Women's liberation vs. sexual revolution

I've noticed there are two sides to the feminist coin. One side believes that women should not be treated like sex objects. Stripping, porn, and prostitution are all degrading acts that are for purposes of sexually pleasing men. And women are not male playthings. Women are whole people, not sexual entertainers. The pioneers of feminism subscribe to this belief. The Women's Liberation Movement in the 60's fought for female sexual liberation, but this didn't mean women kissing each other just so other men could get off. It meant revolting against conservative, traditional ideas of sex. It meant thinking about reproductive rights and gay rights and the idea that sex is natural, beautiful, and spiritual experience. And that people don't have to be married to have sex. And that sex is pleasurable, and women are allowed to enjoy sex.

Now, there is the other side, who also call themselves feminists, and are strong supporters of women's right to flaunt their sexuality. Women have the right to strip and sell sex. Women have the right to use their bodies for profit. Strong women are not afraid of sex. This is what a lot of modern day "feminists" subscribe to. Hugh Hefner considers himself a feminist.

The latter side is bogus. It's a sickening way to encourage women to please men, and call it "liberating." But what is liberating about grinding on men for money? What is liberating about having men look at you as a sex object? What is liberating about women doing everything under the sun to please men? (By this I mean: making coffee in bikinis, serving chicken wings in low cut tops, cutting men's hair in super tight clothes, cleaning men's houses in lingerie, playing football in lingerie, etc.) And what is liberating about women going to strip clubs to see other women selling themselves for male gratification? What is liberating about a man actually purchasing a woman's body, and sleeping with her for his own pleasure? Using her as a disposable object?

Women going to any length to please men is not liberation. It's repulsive. And it's sad that society has accepted and encouraged women to behave this way. When will women be treated as human beings, and not as sex toys? How did feminism get mixed up with satisfying men's sexual needs? How did strippers and prostitutes become the face of enlightened and empowered women?

Hello! These sexual acts are to please men! There is nothing feminist about that. Women don't need to be ashamed of their sexuality, but at the same time, women SHOULD NOT have to prove they are empowered and liberal by becoming a male sex toy. Women can be sexually liberated without being sex objects. Women who are against the objectification of women are not prudes- they are women of pride. They are real feminists.

The Bloodhound Gang thinks child slaves forced into stripping and prostitution is funny

A friend and I went to a karaoke bar about a week ago. As we were flipping through the song book, there was a page that listed all of the new songs that had just been recently added to the karaoke selection. On the page was a song we had never heard of- "Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying" by The Bloodhound Gang. As soon as we read the song title, we were shocked. How could this really be a song?

The title was SO offensive, I figured that the song couldn't actually be about strippers crying. I thought that it just had to be a random, offensive title, that was completely unrelated to what the song was about. I mean, who would actually write a song about strippers crying? And how would that song be so popular that it made it to karaoke right away?

I knew that this group had a track record of being disgusting, crude, and offensive. Their first single, "The Bad Touch," was laced with vulgar lines(i.e., "So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts"). And the name of their CD is "Hooray For Boobies." The group is basically very sophomoric, and these guyys probably flirt with girls by being mean to them, and they probably laugh when they hear the word boob.

Even though the group is low, I didn't think it was that low. No way would it write a song about lap dances being better when the stripper cries. No way would a record label even allow such a song to be released to the public, or even recorded in the first place. And no way would society embrace this song. There would have been a big uproar of some kind when this song was released if it was really about the entertainment one gets when strippers crying during lap dances.

So I decided to look up the lyrics, just to make sure.

Unfortunately, I had given everyone too much credit. The title is representative of what the entire song is about. And nobody seems to have a problem with this. WTF? What kind of a sick world am I living in?!?

Take a look at a few of the lyrics.

(chorus)
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."

Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

WHAT? PEOPLE THINK THIS SONG IS FUNNY? Children working at strip clubs...having sex with men to buy baby food...children crying when they have to give adult men lap dances and grind the men against their will...men looking at the child stripper's "missing" picture on the back of a milk carton and masturbating to it...and an adult male saying, "I never thought missing children could be so sexy."

There is no possible way to defend this song, unless you are child molesting pervert that is seriously sick in the head.

If The Bloodhoung Gang ever comes to Seattle, I will be on the picket lines.

Note: If you are under the impression that I think this group is completely serious, read my comment.

I don't think there is a music video for this song (thank goodness), but you can listen to it here:

A good mom is ugly

I almost forgot what differentiates a mom from a monster, until I saw the cover of Us Weekly. Thank goodness for the before and after pictures of Kate Gosselin. It really cleared things up for me.

MOM: She is unattractive. She has no time to care for herself because she devotes her entire life to her children. She is completely selfless and can never do enough for her kids. She is overweight and frumpy.

MONSTER: She is attractive. She takes care of her physical appearance, even if it means taking some time for herself. She enjoys being stylish. She gets her hair cut and colored, wears make-up and accessories, and is in shape.

I am aware that there is more to this story than Kate's "makeover" (i.e., Kate is a monster because she fires staff members for irrational reasons and supposedly ignores her children). But what is the cover of this magazine actually saying about gender roles and motherhood? Two thirds of the cover is plastered with side by side images of Kate and a huge, yellow title reading, "MOM TO MONSTER". The first image, labeled "before," shows a picture of Kate looking out of shape and out of style. This image was taken before, when she was a "mom." The second image, labeled "after," shows a picture of Kate looking in shape and in style. This is how a "monster" looks. A "mom" would never care about her appearance.

The cover also claims that Kate has a sick obsession with her appearance. I suppose that's the purpose of the "after" picture. Hmm, a hair style and sunglasses...that is sick! Any mom who gets her hair styled and wears sunglasses is obviously a narcissistic, self-absorbed monster who is obsessed with her appearance. Real moms don't care about such things. Real moms only care about their children, and nothing else.

I find it completely inappropriate for Us Weekly to publish such a cover. If they want to call her a monster, so be it. For all I know, she might be the meanest person in the world. And she might be a terrible mother. And she might actually be totally obsessed with her looks. (But if Kate wearing sunglasses with a modern hairstyle is the best example of her being obsessed with her appearance, that's sad. Quite a stretch.)

HOWEVER, the cover simply perpetuates gender roles of mothers. The magazine clearly, and purposefully, labels the frumpy picture as "mom" and the stylish picture as "monster." When someone walks by and glances at the cover, this is the message they will get: ugly woman was a good mom; attractive woman is a monster. And that's exactly the message the magazine wants to send. They couldn't have made it any clearer.

This cover reminds me of a chapter in He's a Stud, She's a Slut. And 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know, by Jessica Valenti. The chapter is titled He's Superdad, She's Shittymom. It really pinpoints what society expects a mother to be. Valenti writes, "Moms can never really do enough. They can never be too selfless, too devoted, or too giving....They can never be perfect- though that's what society demands of them."

Valenti also cites the book The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined Women, by Susan J. Douglas and Meredith W. Michaels. Douglas and Michaels refer to the the impossible-to-meet standards for mothers as "new momism." They write, "...to be a remotely decent mother, a woman has to devote her entire physical, psychological, emotional, and intellectual being, 24/7, to her children." Us Weekly obviously subscribes to this belief.

The chapter is really about the parenting double standard. Women are expected to do everything, and give everything, for their children. Anything less would make her a bad mom. But men can show up to a couple of baseball games or read a few bedtime stories, and they are great dads.

Take another look at the cover, and pretend that Jon Gosselin was the subject. His before picture was of him being overweight and outdated- just generally unattractive. This image would be considered him looking like a "dad." And the after picture would be him with a hairstyle, wearing sunglasses, and looking healthy. This image would be him as a "monster."

That cover wouldn't make sense. Because a good father can be attractive. It's socially acceptable. Nobody expects men to sacrifice their entire lives to his kids. Nobody expects men to let themselves go in the name of their children.

And look at the subtitles, and apply them to Jon:

"Fired 40 staff members in 3 months" --- I can already hear it now: What a good dad. He really cares about the welfare of his children and will only tolerate the best. His children are so important and precious to him, he is extremely picky about the staff he hires to help out. He only wants the best for his children. After all, you can never be too careful.

"Stayed out at dinner while son went to the emergency room" Men, and probably women, would be hurling excuses left and right: Well, I'm sure his mother was with him. It was probably just something minor, and it wasn't necessary to be there. It could have been a very important business dinner, and he couldn't just leave. He rarely gets a night out, and the mom was taking care of it. I bet he didn't even know his son was in the ER until after he was done with dinner.

"Sick obsession with money, freebies, & his appearance" Men are allowed all of these things. Being obsessed with money makes a man successful and a hard worker. Being obsessed with freebies makes him practical. Being obsessed with his appearance makes him handsome, desirable, and the complete package. In fact, an obsession with all three of these things would make him a good catch. A perfect dad- successful, practical, and handsome. A monster wouldn't be any of these things.

Could it be that Kate is now a "monster" because she is acting too much like a man? Is her behavior only acceptable for a father? Should she get back in the kitchen and bake something for her family? Stop caring about money and appearance and concentrate on all things domestic?

I would also like to point out just one more thing- Jon is alleged to be cheating on Kate. Somehow, the media has taken Jon's side and says Kate drove him to it. He's unfaithful, but it's her fault. Of course. A man can't be to blame for anything.

BOYCOTT and GIRLCOTT these clothing stores!

American Appearal:

Claiming to be "sweatshop-free," American Apparel exploits women instead. Ads resemble amateur porn, plus owner Dov Charney proudly masturbated in front of a Jane Magazine reporter eight times while she was researching an article about him. Charney says, "Of course, the women are sexualized in the images, but I don't think anything's wrong with that. It's not just about being socially conscious, it's about being a profitable company." (oneangrygirl.net)

Ecko Manufacturing:

This is one of the most disgusting campaigns I have ever seen.

Ecko's Mission Statement:
At Ecko Manufacturing we do things differently, we make jeans with love. And just look at our employees! This is manufacturing on an entirely new level. We only hire the sexiest women on the planet because as everyone knows, hot girls make great clothes. Ecko MFG supplies the world with denim of unsurpassed quality. Every pair of jeans comes to the customer from the gentle, smooth hands of a highly skilled employee, who has injected every inch of the garment with love.

Love, sex, and jeans. What else do you need, really??

Not nauseated yet?
WATCH THIS! YOU WILL BE OUTRAGED! http://www.youtube.com/eckoMFG

I encourage everyone to read the full article about this ad campaign:
http://www.whereamiwearing.com/travel/hot-girls-make-great-clothes.html

If you’re offended by this you should contact Ecko Manufacturing and let them know. eckomfg@ecko.com; 917-262-1002 (ask for Ecko Manufacturing)

Abercrombie & Fitch:

In Abercrombie World, college-age girls are cheerfully slutty (shirts that say: "You’re at the Top of My To-Do List" and "This Shirt Would Look Great on Your Floor"); meanwhile, their male counterparts make rotten boyfriends (shirts that say: "I’ll Call I Swear" and "You Can Fake It But I Can Fake An Entire Relationship").

The company got into some trouble in late 2005 for marketing the following tees to younger girls:
-"Blondes Are Adored, Brunettes Are Ignored"
-"I Make You Look Fat"
-"Who Needs Brains When You Have These?"

These were discontinued after successful girlcott by Women and Girls Foundation of Southwest Pennsylvania.

You may also recall the thongs for preteens, imprinted with the phrase "Eye Candy."

Lately, they have switched to the non-controversial “appearance comes first” mindset for their younger female target market, with shirts that say "Stressed Out From Shopping" and "I Am What I Wear." (oneangrygirl.net)

The TRUTH about stripping and porn

How many times am I going to have to hear a man say, "Strippers like their job. They are proud of their bodies and are confident with themselves." How many times I am going to have to hear, "women in porn just enjoy having sex."

Men like to entertain the delusion that the women they are paying for actually like them. The woman giving me a lap dance loves this because I am so hot and sexually stimulating. She is so turned on by me. She loves getting nude and rubbing all over my body.

I mean, what kind of a fantasy would it be if they let themselves believe the truth? I am just sitting here, like hundreds of men before me, and she is dancing and taking off her clothes because I had to pay her to do so. She is just going through the motions and is probably thinking about how disgusting I am all the while.

When men watch porn, it's obviously more arousing to imagine that the woman is totally into it. Oh yeah, she loves getting her hair pulled and taking it up the ass. She doesn't need any kind of foreplay, whatsoever. As soon as he puts in his magic penis, she is nearly at an orgasm. Everything he does, no matter how rough, aggressive or degrading, is turning her on. Man, what I would do to her if she were here right now. She would be in heaven.

I don't know how well a man could masturbate to these thoughts: Hmm, I wonder if she was raped as a child? Did she used to curl up in the fetal position every night and cry herself to sleep? Is she currently strung out right now just so she can get through this shoot? Will she contract HIV soon? Does she drink everyday of her life because she hates what she is doing? Is she clinically depressed? Is she thinking that she hates her life every second that guy is touching her?

No matter how many times I hear that there just are women out there who like doing what they are doing in the sex industry, and are completely mentally stable, I am skeptical. If these women do exist, they are very rare. And I personally can't wrap my head around it.

For the majority of strippers and porn stars, having sex and taking off their clothes isn't a dream come true. It's a result of a traumatizing past.

According to University of Pennsylvania psychologist Mary Anne Layden, between 60 and 80 percent of nude dancers were raped or sexually abused as children. (Dr. Layden is Director of Education, Center for Cognitive Therapy, Department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, PA; and Director, Social Action Committee for Women's Psychological Health, Philadelphia.) Excerpt from 'If pornography made us healthy, we would be healthy by now,' by Dr. Mary Anne Layden:

"Most strippers, as with other women who work in the sex industry, are adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Research indicates the number is between60%-80%. One study found that 35% of strippers have Multiple Personality Disorder, 55% had Borderline Personality Disorder, and 60% had Major Depressive Episodes, These are severe psychiatric problems and many of them are connected to childhood sexual abuse. These are women who when they were little girls would get into their beds each night and roll themselves into a fetal position and every night he would come in and peel her open. The physical and visual invasion of little girl's bodies damages them psychologically and gives them a psychologically unhealthy view of sexuality. Often as adults they reenact their childhood trauma by working as strippers, Playboy models, and prostitutes.The men who, now as customers, physically and visually invade the adult women's bodies, reenact the role of the perpetrator. These women work in the sex industry because it feels like home."

These women are taught through abuse that they are sexual objects. They don't associate sex with love.

Shelley Luben, a former porn actress, was first sexually abused at nine years old. She discusses the horrors of working in the porn industry, and how porn actresses really feel about their profession:

"I never liked sex. I never wanted sex and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels than some of the studs I was paid to “fake it” with. That’s right none of us freshly-dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it. We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us. We hate being degraded with their foul smells and sweaty bodies. Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of Marlboro lights...

But the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. The truth, porn actresses have showed up on the set not knowing about certain requirements and were told by porn producers to do it or leave without being paid. Work or never work again. Yes, we made the choice. Some of us needed the money. But we were manipulated and coerced and even threatened. Some of us caught HIV from that coercion. I personally caught Herpes, a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. Now she’s dead.

It’s safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making enterprise, probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods either. Indeed, many actresses admit they’ve experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men get on top of us. So we were taught at a young age that sex made us valuable. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive through as we perform our tricks for you in front of the camera. And we hate every minute of it. We’re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us.

As we continue to traumatize ourselves by making more adult films, we use more and more drugs and alcohol. We live in constant fear of catching AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Every time there’s an HIV scare we race to the nearest clinic for an emergency checkup. Pornographers insist giving viewers the fantasy sex they demand all the while sacrificing the very ones who make it happen. In other words, no condoms allowed. Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and other diseases are the normal anxieties we walk around with daily. We get tested monthly but we know testing isn’t prevention. Besides worrying about catching diseases from porn sex, there are other harmful activities we engage in that are also very dangerous. Some of us have had physical tearing and damage to internal body parts.

The truth is there IS NO fantasy in porn. It’s all a lie. A closer look into the scenes of a porn star’s life will show you a movie porn doesn’t want you to see. The real truth is we porn actresses want to end the shame and trauma of our lives but we can’t do it alone. We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back our honor. We need you to hold us in your strong arms while we sob tears over our deep wounds and begin to heal. We want you throw out our movies and help piece together the shattered fragments of our lives. So don’t believe the lie anymore. Porn is nothing more than fake sex and lies on videotape. Trust me, I know."

Jenna Jameson, the most well-known porn star, goes to great lengths to justify what she does for a living. She claims she is a sexual person and porn is liberating. She strongly protests that women are strong and independent, and that it is her choice to have sex in movies for money. She considers herself mentally healthy. Coincidentally, she was gang raped as a young teen, began stripping at 16 (she removed her braces with pliers to become a stripper), and she became addicted to crystal meth at 20.

Strippers are no less dehumanized and exploited than porn stars. Even at the age of 12, girls are dancing for men for money. In 2008, a sixth grader was stripping at Diamonds Cabaret, an all-nude strip club in Dallas's red light district. This story ran in Newsweek:

"After running away from home in the suburbs for at least the fourth time in a year, the sixth-grader needed a place to stay. David Bell, 22, and Demonica Abron, 28, a Diamonds Cabaret dancer whose stage name is "Jewels," allegedly told the child she could stay with them in Dallas—as long as she earned her keep. First Bell tried to make the girl work as a prostitute, according to police reports, but she refused. Instead Bell drove her to Diamonds, a BYOB strip club he frequented in a dilapidated office park next to a business that rents hot tubs by the hour.

The girl told the authorities that she lied about her age to a club manager and wasn't able to show proper identification. Police say the club's staff hired her anyway, after asking her to undress to prove that she wasn't too shy to dance nude for strangers. Diamonds Cabaret, where women perform vigorous routines on a stripper pole, features some of the raunchiest exotic dancing in Dallas. According to the account she gave the police, the girl lasted about a week and a half in November, working the stage amid flashing multicolored strobe lights and a pounding hip-hop soundtrack laced with obscene lyrics. She made as little as $100 a night, she told the authorities, and gave all her profits after paying the club fee to Bell and Abron, her "caretakers."

"You did good," Bell allegedly told the girl after one particularly lucrative shift, but, she says, he wanted more. Despite her protests, Bell drove her around Dallas forcing her to perform oral sex on him, she told the police. Back at the house, the girl says, she tried to escape, but Bell grabbed her hard by the arm and said she wasn't going anywhere. When he fell asleep she fled."

Diamonds Cabaret, the strip club, did not lose its business license and it still open.

Working in a strip club is not the paradise and party place that men like to imagine it to be.

A study of exotic dancers found that 100% had been physically assaulted in the clubs where they were employed, with a prevalence ranging from 3-15 times over the course of their involvement in exotic dancing. Violence included physical assault, attempted vaginal penetration, attempted rape,and rape (Holsopple, 1999).

In another study, 51.2% of women working as exotic dancers were threatened with a weapon (Raphael & Shapiro, 2004).

Here's what I have to say to all those men and women who think that strip clubs and porn are just fine: You need a reality check. Things aren't as rosy and innocent as you would like to believe. The majority of these women are victims and need help. We are all socially responsible for their welfare. We need to help them, not make things worse. By going to a strip club or buying porn, you are the oppressor. You continue to victimize women, and do so for your own pleasure. If that isn't misogyny, I don't know what is.

Catcalls: So stupid only a caveman would do it

Article contributed by Stephanie Mathieu, a journalist and fellow feminist

This column originally ran the summer of 2007 in The Daily News, Longview, Wash.

This is Stephanie's first contribution to the blog, but definitely not the last. She has a lot of progressive thoughts about gender equality and I am sure she will love to share them.






Catcalls: So stupid only a caveman would do it

I never took the time to respond. Until now.

Many women experience it every day: The men who, as they pass us on the street, leer, honk and holler from the cowardly comfort of their vehicles.

But last month, two make antagonists I encountered made a crucial mistake. Instead of directing come-ons at me from a car, they sat on the porch of an Old Westside home.

“Hey, sexy!” Lookin’ good!”

Once again, I was an accidental and unwilling player in the male-dominated sport of “catcalling,” a sad grasp for power.

Experts who study gender say disrespectful behavior toward women helps create a culture of violence in which our sisters, mothers, daughters, aunts, grandmothers and nieces become acceptable targets of sexual assault.

For example, a 2001 study conducted at Rutgers University in New Jersey found that in some male-dominated settings, such as athletics, the use of derogatory language to describe women was not only acceptable, it gave men a “sense of privilege and entitlement” to rape.

Catcalling is verbal abuse, an indefensible practice that objectifies and demeans its subjects, adding to the growing culture of disrespect and violence.

Every time catcalling occurs, it leaves me feeling self-conscious, humiliated, slightly fearful and, mostly, enraged.

In most instances when it happens, my harassers hit the gas and get away before I can summon adequate words of protest. Often, I’m left shouting choice words these men can’t hear, or shaking my head, a fist or a middle finger.

I’ve even tried to make excuses:

“Lighten up,” I’d think. “He is complimenting you,” or “they are only trying to flirt.”

Really?

If men truly believe they can earn the affections of women by hurling insults at them while zooming past on the street, the state should implement IQ tests for drivers’ licenses, then start revoking more than a few.

Such men, much like those who sexually harass, batter and rape, do so out of insecurity or to assert power over someone.

On this particular day, I’d had enough.

Like the fictional “Seinfeld” character George Costanza, who in one notable episode flies from New York to Ohio to deliver an overdue comeback, I turned on my heals and headed down the sidewalk toward the catcallers.

They looked confused as I approached. One pointed to his buddy and said, “It was him.” The other sheepishly said, “He thinks you’re hot,” as if it were an apology. They both appeared to be in their late 20s.

“I did not appreciate that,” I said from about 10 feet away. “That was very disrespectful.”

As I walked away, prepared to count this incident as a rare victory – Stephanie-the-feminist: 1, Male-dominated society: 1 bazillion – I heard the classic, salacious wolf whistle from my “admirers.”

Oh, well. It all goes to show that social change is difficult. It takes more than one young woman with an ax to grind. But here are a few suggestions:

To catcallers: Lay off. Your harassing drive-by gazes, honks, whistle and words do not make you a man. They make you a Neanderthal.

To women who enjoy catcalls: Wake up. These men clearly are not applauding your winning personality or intelligence and probably not even your appearance.

To women who share my frustrations: Protest. If presented with opportunities, and it’s safe to do so, assertively confront your harassers.

Of course, these guys might very well continue their inappropriate behavior.

But your protest could make them think twice the next time they start to honk at a pedestrian, just because she is female, and just because she has a pulse.