Shout out to two awesome female celebs

I'd like to give a shout out to two celebrity women- both actresses, and both pretty damn cool.

Reese Witherspoon:
Awesome for 2 reasons.

First, she isn't superficial and obsessed with her physical appearance. She is the mother of two children, and her body reflects this. Unlike many female celebrities, she doesn't go to extreme measures to try to make her body look like it did before having children. Instead, she is fine with the way her body looks post-pregnancy.

“I am covered in stretch marks and cellulite but it doesn’t bother me at all. My body will never be the same again but I really don’t care.”

"Your body never looks that same after you have children. My breasts are not what they were before I breast-fed. I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I know if I’m going to make it in this business, I’m not going to make it on being sexy."

"Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it's like running a race toward nothing. There's no winning. You're never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be."

"I feel like there's a race being run in Los Angeles for some unattainable goal -to be the best, the skinniest, the most beautiful. I just admit that that's what I'll never be."

Second, she believes in women's capabilities and feminism.

"I feel there are certain people who are systematically ripping [feminism] down because of their lack of regard and their ignorance about what the women before us had to go through."

"What gets me is how many women - young women - give up their power and their sense of self. Thinking they're going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they're smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I'm flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind."

"I don't think these women are stupid. I think they're selling a personality that's very marketable: Wouldn't it be fun if we were all gorgeous and didn't have a care? But creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, "I'm stupid, isn't it cute?" makes me want to throw daggers at them! I want to say to them, "My grandma did not fight for what she fought for, and my mother did not fight for what she fought for, so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid. Saying that to young women, little girls, my daughter? It's not OK."

Nicole Kidman:

She is a goodwill ambassador for United Nations Development Fund for Women, which would hold the entire league of nations in the UN responsible for making sure women in countries plagued with antiquated gender policies are educated and have access to proper health care.

She fights for international gender equality, with an emphasis on violence against women.

"Violence against women is not prosecuted because it is not a top government and urgent social priority. We can change this."

“These champions need and deserve our support. Not with a box of band-aids, but with a comprehensive, well-funded approach that acknowledges that women’s rights are human rights. It is time for policies that intentionally involve society’s key communities - from health and education departments to the police and judiciary - to deliver on that commitment. To succeed, it requires political will at the highest levels.”

She recently requested $1 billion over five years for anti-violence programs.

She also sees the realities of how Hollywood represents women poorly. She admits that the film industry contributes to violence by portraying women as sex objects. And she said she refuses to take film roles that portray women as weak sex objects.

"I can't be responsible for all of Hollywood, but I can certainly be responsible for my own career."

Why working at Hooters is NOT cool

Many young women would love the opportunity to work at Hooters. Whether it's for attention and the honor to be able to say you are "hot" to men, or simply for the money, there are plenty of women out there who would jump at the chance.

Well, it's obviously not cool for women to do it just to get an official stamp of approval of attractiveness. If they think that working there proves how "hot" they are, and they like men drooling over them, I would say they lack some serious self-esteem and should value themselves for more than how men view them.

But for those women who argue that they are not demeaning themselves by working there, I certainly see the validity in their argument. They claim that men are the real chumps- willing to generously tip women for wearing tight, low-cut outfits and serve them food. The women don't have to touch these men, or do anything sexual with them. They merely have to flirt with them, be nice, and prance around. And men are so stupid they are willing to pay for it. So why not profit from men's obsession with gawking at women?

Here's why: You are supporting the patriarchal standard of women being products that can be purchased for male amusement. You are supporting the misogynistic idea that women's bodies are objects for men to stare at. By accepting money in exchange for wearing small, tight outfits, you are saying to men that you can be purchased for their entertainment, for the right price. If men can pony up enough money, you are willing to be sexy for them. All it takes is cash. You can be bought. You are a product, not a person. (And yes, most everybody has to work for a paycheck, but most everybody does not have demote themselves to a sex object in order to earn money. Most people can do work where they are seen as people, rather than a thing.)

Who is really in control? Certainly not the women who are making the money. Yes, it seems quite powerful to be able to take a man's money. Making a lot of money gives women the idea that they are the one in power. But oh, how specious that argument is. I'd say the one in power is the one who can wave some money around and have people sell themselves for it. When all a man needs is money to be able to control people, and tell them what they need to do to earn it, and dole out the cash to those who are willing to look "sexy" for them, it's like he's the puppet master. I certainly wouldn't say a well-paid slave is really the one in charge. It's his owner- the one that calls the shots and decides what that person will have to do to earn the pay.

Sexified women are a hot commodity, because men are willing to pay for it. They eat at places like Hooters, or get their hair cut at places like Tight Cuts, or get their house cleaned by topless women, or watch a female football game with the players in lingerie, or get coffee from bikini baristas, or go to strip clubs, or use prostitutes. Women have become quite the sellable product. Just sex them up and they are all ready to be sold to men for their own personal pleasure. These men are NOT going to Hooters or bikini baristas because they like your wit and conversation, or because they value you as a person, or because they appreciate or respect you in any way, or think you are talented and have something to offer; they are doing these things because they like to look at you and think about having sex with you. They look at you as a sex toy, and nothing more.

I'm not saying these men are inherently evil, or even have bad intentions or are intentionally disrespecting women. It's what they have learned to be normal. It's what we have all learned to be normal. Women are sex toys for men. We grow up with places like Hooters and strip clubs, and see that men like sexed up women to gawk at. And we don't know any different. It's the status quo.

But there comes a time when every societal standard needs to be questioned. It was appropriate to question the normalcy of slavery and it was appropriate to question laws that didn't allow women and African-Americans to vote. Yes, those things were normal at the time, but were still wrong. And this is wrong. Women are not sex toys for men. Period. No matter how normal it is to us, it's just not right. Women should not be looked at as sexual objects, or a things for men to play with or as products that can be bought and sold for male amusement. Women are people, and have a greater purpose than to fulfill a man's sexual desires.

So not only is working at Hooters, or a similar place, demeaning, but it also reinforces harmful standards of beauty. Women are bombarded with images of what they need to look like to be sexy and desirable to men. And since the desire to be desired is something women are taught is important, we strive to fit the sexy mold. Hooters, Playboy, Victoria's Secret models...they all show us that skinny with big boobs is the ideal. Now women are getting plastic surgery and developing eating disorders to fit this image. And I am so sick of hearing, "Men get plastic surgery and have eating disorders too. Men are pressured to look good for women." While there are men who do get plastic surgery, and do have eating disorders, it is a very, very small population, and not even close to comparable to women. Eleven out of 12 million Americans that get cosmetic surgery are women. That's 92%. And as for eating disorders, 8 million Americans suffer from the disease, and 7 million of those are women. That's 87.5% female.

As women, it's important that we accept other women for who they are and what they look like. We shouldn't be striving to look like unrealistic images, or using our bodies as examples of what other women should strive to look like. We shouldn't be encouraging women to throw up their food or get surgery to transform themselves. Instead, we should respect our gender and treat other women like they are valuable, no matter how they were born or what they look like.

With any oppressed group, it's important for members to band together and fight the status quo and demand respect. And yes, women are an oppressed group. We always have been. We may have made strides by being able to vote, work and own property, but we still have a long way to go. We still get paid less for doing the same job, we still have millions of girls and women enslaved around the world in brothels, we are still being raped and beaten by men, and we are still being seen as sex objects. To overcome this oppression, there needs to be a strong sisterhood, where women refuse to be seen as less than men, and refuse to be seen as products to be bought.

This is easier said than done however. It is common for any oppressed group to internalize blame and perpetuate their own oppression. Feminists have called this "Tomming" and it references the classic book Uncle Tom's Cabin, where a black slave, Tom, feels as though he really isn't as good as his white owner, and so he becomes very devoted and subservient to his white master who he genuinely believes to be superior. Women really do think they are sex toys, and create any justification to continue living in the comfortable world of the status quo. They say, "women are just more attractive than men, so men want to look at us" or "men are appreciating female bodies." This is all just crap. Women are people and shouldn't be seen or treated as anything less.

By not working at Hooters, or the like, you are sending a message: 'women are not sexual products to be purchased by men.' And you are also saying: 'women don't have to look a certain way to be beautiful. I accept all kinds of women, and I don't think my body should be considered the ideal. I don't want women to make themselves sick to try to look like me.' And you are saying: 'I'm taking a stand against rape culture. I will not be seen as a sexual object, and I am not going to participate in the normalization of having women been seen as things rather than people.' You are joining a much needed sisterhood. We cannot overcome our oppression or make change without the help of women. Most men like having the power, so we must depend on our sisterhood to demand equality.