Cosmo's rules for being a great girlfriend

Every woman knows, keeping your man happy is an important job, even if it means sacrificing your own needs to please him. We must bend over backwards for our boyfriends, so they will like us, be faithful, and if we are lucky, they will one day marry us.

To be a good girlfriend, we must shed our own personalities, and adapt to whatever our boyfriend wants us to be. But how do we do that? Well, it's easy. Just follow Cosmo's rules for being a "good girlfriend." These rules were advertised on MSN lifestyle, so that every woman who visits MSN can benefit from this advice.

Good Girlfriend Behavior: Do This, Not That
By Bethany Heitman

Every girl knows the golden relationship rules — like tell your guy how great he makes you feel, not how amazing your ex was. But there are other guidelines that aren't so obvious. Behold, the ultimate cheat sheet for being a great girlfriend.

Hanging with the Guys
Do This: Watch the game with his friends.Spending an afternoon on the couch with his pals says you're easygoing and cool … and he'll appreciate your making an effort to get to know his boys.
Do you like watching the game? No? Doesn't matter. He will like it, so that's what counts. But remember, never ask him to go shopping with you and your friends. You might appreciate it, but he will just be bored, and it's all about him.

Not That: Cheer really loudly, chug beers, or tell off-color jokes.Let's put it this way: It's really hard for him to be sexually attracted to someone who reminds him of his buddies.
Heaven forbid you act like this. This behavior is strictly reserved for males only! We must stay in our feminine gender roles! Ladies can't chug beer and tell jokes. Well, they can, but it's nasty. And no guy will be attracted to you. You must be a dainty little lady.

Giving Him Gifts
Do This: Buy him tickets.Present him with two tickets to see his favorite team or band and you'll win major points for being thoughtful and creative.
Win major points? Anything to win major points with my man. This will make him like me more, right?

Not That: Get him a sweater.He gets plenty of clothes from his mom. And you don't want him to associate you with her, do you? Didn't think so.
This is will not win you major points. Does it matter that it was something you picked out yourself, because you were being thoughtful and thought he might like it? Nah. Doesn't matter. He won't appreciate it. Let his mom be the one to disappoint him. He wants tickets. He won't be happy with any other gift. And yes, this applies to all men.

Leaving Stuff at His Place
Do This: "Forget" your necklace.Leave behind a pretty, delicate piece of jewelry (such as a little gold necklace) and he'll think of you in similar terms every time he sees it.
Of course! We want our man to think of us as delicate piece of jewelry. And we want him to remember we exist. He will forget all about us the second we leave, unless...we purposely leave our belongings over so he's forced to remember that we were there.

Not That: Leave a toothbrush in his bathroom.An unsolicited toothbrush or other toiletry will give him the impression you're moving too fast — and may freak him out.
Ugh- we wouldn't want our man to think we desired a commitment or anything. We move as slow as he wants. He doesn't want to even think about committing to just one woman. That freaks him out. We'll wait for him. As long as he needs.

Sending Him Texts
Do This: Type "Last night was amazing. Repeat 2night?"Keeping your message short and provocative will ensure he stays totally intrigued.
Keeping your messages air-headed and shallow will definitely allure to him. And don't forget the sexual innuendos. Without those, he won't be interested. He likes his text messages like he likes his women- dumb and slutty.

Not That: Send a message that's more than two sentences.To him, texting is for quick communication. Sending him a novel is analogous to a droning phone call.
That's right- he's not interested in what's on your mind. He doesn't really care what you have to say. He just wants the two-liner, mindless, provocative texts. Anything longer than two lines is a novel to him. And it reminds him of those droning phone calls you two have- the ones where you talk about your life, he pretends to listen, and he wants to shoot his brains out. You would never want to subject him to such torture, right?

Displaying PDA
Do This: Give him a quick kiss.He'll feel proud in front of his buddies if you give him a subtly sexy signal, like pecking him on the cheek or holding on to his arm as you walk.
We must boost his ego in front of his buddies. It's our job.

Not That: Be all over him.Dudes want to appear tough in public, so if you're always sitting on his lap or trying to make out with him, he'll feel uncomfortable.
We should never expect affection in public from our man. It's not manly. He wants to be the big, masculine boyfriend, and this means acting like he's not really into you while in public. But he really does care. Just not in front of other people.

Wearing Lingerie
Do This: Wear a matching lace bra and underwear.Sets that come in white or pastel colors — think lavender or light pink — give him a little peek at what's in store while you still look feminine and innocent.
Men who care nothing about receiving clothing as gifts sure care a lot about what color your lingerie is. He would likely be disappointed if he saw you wearing a black bra and panties. He has his heart set on pastel pink, because that makes you look virginal and innocent- the way a good woman should look. Never mind those provocative 2-liner texts you sent him earlier. He forgot all about how sexual you were as soon as he saw your pink bra. You have successfully transformed yourself into an innocent virgin- just what he likes.

Not That: Wear something he needs an engineering degree to get off of you.Teddies and little nighties with ties, buckles, and bows are hot, but he'll be too busy trying to figure out how to get you out of it to notice how amazing you look.
Don't ever make your man work for it. It's all about easy access. He needs to be able to take it off quickly. The sooner you are naked, the better. Lingerie with ties is so complex, you can't expect him to be smart enough to figure it out. He's doesn't have an engineering degree, after all!

Visiting His Parents
Do This: Bring them something homemade.Showing up with freshly baked oatmeal-raisin cookies shows you spent time thinking about them instead of just swinging by the store. Plus, his mom will be thrilled her son's babe can bake.
Impressing his mother is a must! And she wants him to be with a domestic babe! Prove you are domestic and win her over. If you don't bake, you better start learning.

Not That: Bestow flowers or anything pricey.Fresh-cut flowers require the hostess to duck into the kitchen to arrange them, and over-the-top gifts (such as a crazy-expensive bottle of wine or a crystal vase) are, well, over the top.
Remember, his mother is like him. He doesn't appreciate the thought behind the gift, he only appreciates the gift if it's something he wants. His mother doesn't want anything over the top, she just wants baked goods that prove you are domestic, so she can comfortably accept the relationship. She wouldn't feel right about her son being with someone who doesn't bake.

Going Away for the Weekend
Do This: Go to the beach or the mountains.In the beginning of a relationship, take an adventure-based trip, like going surfing or snowboarding. The adrenaline rush will boost your bond, and a built-in activity safeguards against awkward downtime.
Aah, this one isn't too bad.

Not That: Check in to a sleepy bed and breakfast.Staring at each other over fresh coffee and croissants and going antiquing all day may sound romantic to you, but these kinds of esoteric activities bore most men to death.
OK, this is more like it. Back to the basics. Do everything he wants to do. But you want to go antiquing all day? Too bad. He doesn't want to, and we do what he wants, remember? We watch football on the couch with his friends, because that will please him. But don't expect him to do something you like. That's just rude and unladylike.